Outdoor Event Goer Gifts

Shakespeare in the Park: "To pee, or not to pee..."

"It's not a party until someone gets plowed."

It is best dealt with by the 'Pitch and Run Shot'.

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"That's it, Tom. Here they come. Just keep playing 'Freebird.'"

'Oh, look - a juggling stilt-walker painting that little child's face!'

'Let me guess...you're a knights supporter?'

"Don't let him get to you. I'm sure there are lots of people you didn't invite."

"I use old Duke to check my steaks. If it feels like Duke's tongue, it's rare, if it feels like his ear, it's medium. . ."

Prosecco

What if they held a chili cookoff, & nobody came!

Face Painting.

"It's the racket season again!"

Little guy using telescope to see past a big guy blocking his view in the crowd,

'We've been tailgating so long, I think we might be homeless.'

'Is this your first Henley Regatta?'

'I love it when it's sunny at festivals. It makes the mud so much warmer.'

"Oh, I stood around in a field and ate a bunch of grass...what did you do this weekend?"

'It's a common misconception. Sometime we actually get quite hot.'

Snail Display Today

Real violinist replaces a statue.

"I heard you had a little problem with the law."

Playing Violin During Wasp Season

One of the hazards of outdoor weddings.

'I'm not comfort eating . . . she's comfort feeding.'

Brass Band

"We're so glad you could make it."

Bert's Ragtime Band.

'The Olympic torch is certainly making a blazing entrance into the stadium!'

A orchestra performs in the rain

"Dad, it's only a surveillance camera."

'Hike the Alps? I'm getting out of breath just keeping my foot on the accelerator!'

Man leaves stretch limousine in a stretch wheelchair.