Outdoor Event Goers Gifts

'Is this your first Henley Regatta?'

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

"It's not a party until someone gets plowed."

Beach Barbecue

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

"That's it, Tom. Here they come. Just keep playing 'Freebird.'"

"This is Blackjack, come in Yahtzee."

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

'Oh, look - a juggling stilt-walker painting that little child's face!'

"I do like a plant that can hold its drink"

"This chicken wasn't cooked - it committed suttee!"

'Let me guess...you're a knights supporter?'

Shakespeare in the Park: "To pee, or not to pee..."

You'll be the centre of attention for a job well done!

"It's a cookout-act stupid!"

"Don't let him get to you. I'm sure there are lots of people you didn't invite."

"I use old Duke to check my steaks. If it feels like Duke's tongue, it's rare, if it feels like his ear, it's medium. . ."

"Which do I enjoy more. . . the grillin' or the chillin'?"

What if they held a chili cookoff, & nobody came!

"Damn! Someone just asked for chicken drumsticks."

Prosecco

Empty Nester Apple Picking - "Not THAT one, you idiot!"

Face Painting.

"Every once in a while he gets nostalgic for Woodstock."

Beer Garden Kit

'We've been tailgating so long, I think we might be homeless.'

"It's the racket season again!"

Sparklers

'I love it when it's sunny at festivals. It makes the mud so much warmer.'

'It's a common misconception. Sometime we actually get quite hot.'

Snail Display Today

"I heard you had a little problem with the law."

Fishers about to be crashed into by rowers