Summer Event Goer Gifts

"It's the racket season again!"

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

Tension filled the tent.

Shakespeare in the Park: "To pee, or not to pee..."

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

"It's Labor Day! The unofficial last day of summer!"

"I use old Duke to check my steaks. If it feels like Duke's tongue, it's rare, if it feels like his ear, it's medium. . ."

'Best to keep downwind.'

Nothing puts the flavor in a hot dog like a sports event.

'I assumed he'd know to eat the cone last.'

'Marcy, Ted - so glad you could come! Let me direct you upstairs to the overflow room.'

'We can't stop here for a picnic, you know I need to find a stream to wash my food...'

"Your party just totally blew us away."

Little guy using telescope to see past a big guy blocking his view in the crowd,

'Is this your first Henley Regatta?'

Upbeat conversation/downbeat conversation.

Non-Jewish Events and Jewish Events

Summer Berries

"The bad news is there wasn't space in the cooler for the potato salad, and it went bad. The good news is the wine is perfectly chilled."

Hot Dog

"I couldn't find the giant scissors."

'This is Hargreaves - he's in charge of corporate hospitality.'

'And this one for handling tough questions from congress...'

'Hey! I made sandwiches ya' know!'

'Hang on a second fellas, that mayonnaise has been in the hot sun for quite a while now.'

"I'm just going to stay in the car until all the bees die off."

"'What I Did Last Summer,' by Scott Sweningen, as told to Samantha Gerhart."

They do so look forward to summer holidays.

Man leaves stretch limousine in a stretch wheelchair.

Olympic Catering: 'A small coffee please.'