Outdoor Over-preparer Gifts

'I think you might've over-packed. We'll only be gone for an hour.'

"Now, I'm ready for summer."

"It's not a party until someone gets plowed."

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

Good News about winter

"T-shirt weather's coming. How ready are you?"

Canape?

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

'You mean to tell me you forgot where you buried dinner?'

'It was only 500 yds across but as he visualised the GPS blind spot the risks seemed immense.'

Shakespeare in the Park: "To pee, or not to pee..."

'Oh, look - a juggling stilt-walker painting that little child's face!'

Barbecue raises a cloud of smoke; birds and squirrel in tree above wear gas masks.

A man fly fishing forms a fish with his line.

"If I have this peanut in my pocket, it means I must have buried my keys!"

'Best to keep downwind.'

What if they held a chili cookoff, & nobody came!

Pre-Winter Ennui-'Hon, did you have the furnace checked?'

"Isn't it about time to switch from your warm-weather chair to your cold-weather chair?"

'Yes, Ralph, they are nuts, but...'

Emergency Underpants

Shoot, I forgot about that underground sprinkler.

Barbecue: Touch the Chef Inappropriately!

"Fuel poverty is not the same as being too mean to switch the heating on...."

Barry's new George Foreman Grill warned him anytime the meat was being overcooked.

'It's called sustainable living. He can survive for days out here.'

"Honey - get the smoke can. The guests are starting to swarm all over the bee hives again."

"What's this stench?! You know you're not supposed to store perishable items for winter right?!"

'I'm wearing a bump cap and a hard hat. I like to be ready for any situation.'

'Ta Da! A brand new set of festive outdoor dinnerware for all my summer entertaining!!'

A Gardener's Calendar: January - This is the most convenient time to work out your plans for the year.

"I'm getting a snack. Want me to dig up anything for you while I'm out?"

"I love your novelty lawn sprinkler."

'Anyone lost a mobile?'

Weather is getting bad. . . what you need in your car for winter driver and emergencies...