Outdoor-adverse Humorist Gifts

'You can't do this to me, Arlene! -- I'm not the outdoorsy TYPE!'

Skiing.

'It's an extinction notice.'

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

'Whup - giant anaconda about to attack - quick Peg, hand me something to take care of it with.'

'Now Featuring Gas-Fired Microwave Campfires!'

Irritable trowel syndrome.

I fart more than that!

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Fishing - No. IX

"Well if it comes to that you're not exactly Mr Wonderful."

'Well, I got a hunting license and a fishing license and by golly I'm going to use them.'

"Must get a longer cable."

Pop Top Ice FIshing

'I don't give advice. I'm only up here because it's safer.'

The new green legislature requires methane mitigation.

Bird Symbol Hunting

'Aren't these marshmallows just going to make us plumper for when the bears ultimately eat us?'

Jim Morrison Goes Camping

Roads with a view.

Mountain climbers, "Someone's been here before us."

"Only 150 kids? - Have you considered fertility treatment?"

'...and this is the water garden...'

'I do enjoy the winter olympics.'

The Sensitive Dude.

'Clayton enjoys living on the edge,'

"Geez, Dude. I asked for a slight trim. Not a Brazilian wax."

"Perhaps I should have warned you...They really don't like wholemeal bread."

"Have you farted. . . ?"

'...And if that doesn't work, grab your rifle and start blasting away.'

'If a bear attacks and I have to play dead I want it to be as convincing as possible!'

Deer about to cut rope of gun being lifted to hunter in tree.

"My husband is fishing. . ."

"Have you ever actually seen a chicken cross the road?"

Ranger has sign saying 'Do not feed the bears'. Bear crosses out sign to read 'Feed the bears'.

This is where Brent council sends you