Outdoor Satirist Gifts

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

Skiing.

'Whup - giant anaconda about to attack - quick Peg, hand me something to take care of it with.'

'Now Featuring Gas-Fired Microwave Campfires!'

Irritable trowel syndrome.

I fart more than that!

'I don't remember this canoe being this heavy, do you Tom?'

'Well, I got a hunting license and a fishing license and by golly I'm going to use them.'

Scarecrows guarding a field

"Well if it comes to that you're not exactly Mr Wonderful."

"Must get a longer cable."

Jim Morrison Goes Camping

Bird Symbol Hunting

Mountain climbers, "Someone's been here before us."

'I use my Blackberry all the time to check the competition's executive bonuses.'

'Aren't these marshmallows just going to make us plumper for when the bears ultimately eat us?'

Pop Top Ice FIshing

"Only 150 kids? - Have you considered fertility treatment?"

'Clayton enjoys living on the edge,'

"Have you farted. . . ?"

'I do enjoy the winter olympics.'

"Geez, Dude. I asked for a slight trim. Not a Brazilian wax."

"Perhaps I should have warned you...They really don't like wholemeal bread."

'...And if that doesn't work, grab your rifle and start blasting away.'

"My husband is fishing. . ."

"Have you ever actually seen a chicken cross the road?"

Deer about to cut rope of gun being lifted to hunter in tree.

'If a bear attacks and I have to play dead I want it to be as convincing as possible!'

Ranger has sign saying 'Do not feed the bears'. Bear crosses out sign to read 'Feed the bears'.

'If I've calculated correctly, I have two more birthdays before I never have to mow the lawn again.'

Suburban street.

'You feel awkward? You're the one who said we ought to hunt bare.'

"Yes, I do know how to light a fire with two sticks... Provided one of them is a match."

Fish Training

"He's really not that scary, Teresa."