Osteoporosis Awareness Warrior Gifts

Osteoporosis Club: You Must Be This Short.

YOLO vs YODO

"This isn't helping my migraine."

Getting to the ER saved my life...early retirement.

'You're not retaining water. You're retaining cookies and ice cream and pizza...'

'Took calcium supplements for years without paying for them.'

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

'I don't know which health issue should concern me more - the voices in my head or the fact that I need a hearing aid to hear them.'

Bubbling

'It's one of the less well known about dangers of a sedentary lifestyle!'

Orthopaedist

"Then, my arthritis..."

Woman walking a pelvis on a lead.

"In some ways it'll be a relief when the obesity time-bomb does finally go off."

'Disease is inevitable. My advice is to find an illness you can live with...'

'OK, who wants to be a hero?'

"You need to include more calcium in your diet."

'I said my hormones are playing up again! Why don't you pay attention?'

"I must be getting old, my feet hurt even before I get out of bed in the morning!"

"The Hendersons say they've got Covid. Is that still a thing?"

'Calcium supplements: aisle three, bottom shelf.'

'Are you willing to release your medical records?'

'There's already an aids quilt... the committee thought it would be a good idea if the club made a syphilis quilt.'

"Oooh, no - I couldn't have another slice of carrot cake, Mabel - not with my irritable bowel the way it is..."

She's Not Heavy, She's a Heroine

'Are you taking a calcium supplement?'

'I'll have 17,000 prawn balls...'

Prostate Issues

'Hello, is that the Compulsive Callers helpline?'

Drug-Free Zone ... Except For Junk Food.

Sorry the dementia statistics are not ready, they keep losing count.'

Should have used a higher SPF...

'By the time we grow up we'll have complete equality with men...Ulcers, high blood pressure,heart attacks...'

Swimmer's ear: The silent plight of nature's most misunderstood beast.

"My husband is severely allergic to mushrooms."