Organic Product Fan Gifts

'And here's the crown jewel of the collection. It's an '86, totally organic, and the UK Bag Manufacturers' Association rates it a 99.'

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

'MY husband made the coffee table out of an old door.'

'That GMO gene salesman was darn right!'

"Geoffrey's seasonal. I'm regional."

'Go on - they're organic!'

"Maybe the pie chart should have been refrigerated."

Space Pioneer

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

Smart Arse Meter

'This tuna is being recalled. It contains seahorse.'

"Aren't you getting a little carried away with this herbal medicine, Doctor?"

'It's the natural cereal you requested. No additives. No preservatives. No artificial color.'

'My wife's idea of the four basic food groups is canned, frozen, freeze-dried and carry-out.'

Man riding a bike frame with a cat and a dog attached to harnesses where the wheels would normally be

"Yeah, he's something alright! But do you know that if a genetically modified organism gives you his seeds, he can sue you for copyright infringement?"

'I'm organic.'

"Our teeth-cleaning procedure is 100% organic."

There's a sky full of bloated women counting on you to produce a pro-biotic yoghurt like you've never produced before!

"Hey Maurice! Take the menu, replace 'dish of the day' with 'local free range speciality' and double the price!"

"My new boyfriend is free range!"

"And this is the ultimate in low-flush toilets!"

"This one's perfect if you're going green, but still don't know how turn signals work."

'The food inspector, Sir!'

'He's our power hitter - but only on sunny days.'

'I'm sorry, but the free range chicken escaped.'

"One day son, we'll all be very hungry."

"And how’s my grass-fed, hormone-free cash cow doing today?"

"On the plus side, all the ingredients are local."

"We learn an important lesson from all this - from curds and whey, and pease porridge, and bread and honey. Eat natural foods."

Duracell bunny joins marching drummers

'The good news is we can still get abortions.'

Snowman has twisted, wonky carrot nose: 'Apparently, it's organic.'

'As a Potato & a Farmer he has a unique perspective on the GM issue.'

'Hmmm... that's new this year!'