Organic Gardening Gifts

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

'I,m trying something new...giraffe manure!'

Organic carrots being transported by truck - 'How many more miles is it?'

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

Gardening Solutions

'Who needs pesticides? Most of the insects around here die of obesity.'

'Humans & Lemmings have a lot in comon...'

Selective pesticide - to kill only ugly insects (and not butterflies and ladybirds).

The Karate Gardener

Allotment

Frankenfood farms: pest-resistant, fresher-longer, who-knows-what produce.

Organic gardening

'Dear BBC, I am writing to complain about your show with the misleading title of Grow Your Own Drugs ...'

"Just a couple of ninety cent seed packets, and you can have fresh garden vegetables for heaven knows how long."

Our produce has no pesticides. Insecticides. Chemical fertilizer artificial colour, or flavouring.

"I'm going to a concert by a really famous superstar....he deserves to be pelted with expensive organic tomatoes!"

Manure as Fertilizer and other Tales of Derring-Doo.

Little Dutch boy tends tulip plant

'Fruit - Vegetables - Ethanol'

"Was it locally sourced?. . . Were pesticides used?. . . Any fruit flies harmed? . . . Is it genetically modified?"

"Aren't you getting a little carried away with this herbal medicine, Doctor?"

"My biggest problem is squatters."

"Steamed vegetables."

Man rolling the world across a shaky bridge between organic food and genetic food.

Look at the irregular colors, the odd shapes, the worm holes...

Champion gardener.

Organic foods stand manned by stallholder using fly spray.

"Are boogers compostable?"

'This organic seed's so much better for you than ordinary seed!'

'Go on - they're organic!'

'Ryker's Natural Foods - Kelp wanted'

GMOs

'Fresh eggs!'

'Could you tell me where the organic locally-grown vine-ripened union-picked kiwis are?'

"Bad news - turns out the seed money for our organic food startup was genetically modified."