Oral Hygiene Buff Gifts

'My dentist recommended it.'

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

'The doctor's gonna have to wire your mouth shut for a month... but guess what! If you're brave, I'll give you this lollipop when he's done!'

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

"Pollyanna, your teeth are shot. Stop sugar coating everything!"

'Hey, want to go to the beach ...I mean ...the birdbath?'

Oct. 1982: Researchers attempt an ill-fated procedure in great white shark oral hygiene.

No Cavity Club/No New Gum Receding Club

' ... and this is the half bath.'

'Did you use mouthwash this morning?'

Dentist's Office: 'I know that $3,280 hurt you more than it did me, Dad.'

'To grow a good beard, have good dental habits. First, brush with a concave brush to clean the teeth's facial surfaces. Then use a convex brush to reach flat surfaces. Then use a scalloped brush to be chic. Then floss to clean between teeth. Then use ...

You have the worst spring breath.

Car wash / Mouth wash

'How am I going to get all this back in the tube?'

Man with long beard looks at centerfold in Beard Monthly magazine.

'I'm about to die and now I realise I have REALLY BAD breath!'

"Yes, use an electric toothbrush but you still have to floss."

"Phew! Your breath. What have you been eating?"

Floss Street Vendor

'I've got another loose tooth - It's not your cooking is it mum?'

"You always said nothing would ever come between us."

"You say you're flossing, but I'm scraping off a lot of tennis ball fuzz."

'I'm so glad to hear that your teeth are falling out too, Manfred - I thought it was my mom's cooking!'

Things you forgot to tell me about getting older: "You're going to need bigger tooth floss."

"Ooh, you’ve got a little piece of retiree caught in your teeth."

'That's my husband, Brad. He's a dentist.'

'You're not supposed to use 'dental floss' on dentures!'

'I'm going to throw out my old toothbrush and get a new one.'

'I don't like the mediciney taste of this mouthwash either. I hate that taste of eyes of newt and turtle brains first thing in the morning.'

"Damn these super powers!"

'...your teeth are putting on weight.'

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

Adam was determined to have a nice, white smile for his big date that night.

'Your tooth still sensitive to hot liquids my dear?'