Opportunist Extraordinaire Gifts

'Hey darling, I shall be late, missed the gravy train!'

Profit

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

"Do you remember, Peg—are we on our way out or on our way back?"

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

"I have no toys just yet. I have a concept of a plan for toys...toys like no one has ever seen before."

"That was a great ideaof yours, chester."

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

EXTROVERTS ANONYMOUS

Counsel for the prosecution makes its closing argument in mime court.

"Brian's always had a good nose for business."

Man selling dirt and mud.

'Look at the bright side. Think of our mutual funds going up, up, up!'

"Then there was the dream where I woke up in a pool of melted butter."

Take Away Wedding Cake 50p.

'Fuel efficiency? I get about three times around the block on a peanut butter sandwich.'

"I just always show up to everything!"

"What A Party."

The Little Top.

'I love appearing on stage. My only regret is that I can't be in the audience to fully appreciate my work.'

"Enjoy it while you can, kid. It's a really short hop from 'Geek Genius' to 'Quasi-Creepy, Weird-Looking Old Rich Guy!'"

'They say a fool and his money are soon parted. Here's a list of fools. Make it happen.'

Bush's Hacker

'Get Rich' Stock Brokers and 'Get Even' Attorney-at-law.

Colin was the life and sole of any party...

"Fruit salad? Count me in!"

Post-Pandemic Party

'Not much to show for 25 years of investing in wine--unless maybe you add back the 9,000 empties!'

'You paid three goats for this? Robertus Parkerus only rated it LXXIV.'

"April Fool's on her!"

"I want to be a doctor. But I also want to be an accountant! Maybe I'll be a doctor who does her own taxes."

On a late-night flight, fate presents Roger with a golden opportunity. Seizing the moment, he quickly adds two thousand years to his own life.

Instant winner trash can

'Now's a good time to get a feel for your negotiating skills.'

'This is McWit. He's responsible for our really complex spreadsheets.'