Strategist Extraordinaire Gifts

'Now's a good time to get a feel for your negotiating skills.'

The grand scheme

"That was a great ideaof yours, chester."

Profit

Typical Brain Versus Einstein's Brain

Innovative

"I'll be there in three 'All Too Well's."

"I just figured she was holding all my calls. Turns out she's been running the company."

"Every single day, guys ask you for advice about women, work, sports... Haven't you ever even heard of the law of supply and demand?. . .I'd be glad to steer the downtrodden and the forlorn your way for a mere 82% of the man-to-man-talk fee."

'CPA's' evolving into 'Consultants'

"'I think, therefore I am'? - How illusory can you GET?"

Rock champion (Rock, paper, scissors).

"Darren Eggleston. I saw that!"

'The good news is that all the teachers liked the weekend brainstorming retreat. The bad news is that twelve of them are out today with splitting headaches.'

'Look at the bright side. Think of our mutual funds going up, up, up!'

"Any missed assignments can be excused only with a note from your internet service provider."

"Have you figured out what the powers of that new super hero will be? How about the power to meet deadlines? That would be a good power?"

"Blood sweat and tears. I think it's supposed to make us feel guilty."

"With a good education you can grow up to be anything I want you to be."

'I give all my new teachers the same advice. Never minimize the transformative power of a smile attached to your words.'

Jeremy Bentham

'Teacher says I don't pay attention, I have no retention but I'm great at detention.'

Stun-gun target practice.

'Impressive credentials - BA Columbia, MBA Harvard, stints as CFO and CEO at three major corporations - and what's this about being a bluesman?'

"There are thirty four children in my class...thirty one naughty, three nice."

'I love appearing on stage. My only regret is that I can't be in the audience to fully appreciate my work.'

"Enjoy it while you can, kid. It's a really short hop from 'Geek Genius' to 'Quasi-Creepy, Weird-Looking Old Rich Guy!'"

'Don't worry, the first thirty years of teaching are the hardest.'

'Folks, we're just not doing this right.'

'Get Rich' Stock Brokers and 'Get Even' Attorney-at-law.

"Remember – Dad's 50th is in 2026... Have you gotten him a card yet?"

"I don't know which upset me more: being diagnosed as bi-polar, or finding out that they're melting!"

"Wow, your brought your own coffee in your own mug...very eco-friendly! That'll be 12.50 Euro."

'Now that's a great number if you want to be protected from the entire environment.'

Huge capitalist man gulping down barrels of oil