Chef Extraordinaire Gifts

TV chef

'My Dad's got a black belt for cooking!'

"Well yes, my husband is a bulldog, but a French bulldog, not an English bulldog, so he's a good cook..."

Profit

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

"That was a great ideaof yours, chester."

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

"I just figured she was holding all my calls. Turns out she's been running the company."

'CPA's' evolving into 'Consultants'

"Stay-at-home mom" is a misnomer. I spend ten hours a day driving kids all over town!

"Every single day, guys ask you for advice about women, work, sports... Haven't you ever even heard of the law of supply and demand?. . .I'd be glad to steer the downtrodden and the forlorn your way for a mere 82% of the man-to-man-talk fee."

Attack of the 50 foot administrative professional.

I'm so hungry I could eat a horse! You've come to the right place.

In and out, in and out, in and out...

"Darren Eggleston. I saw that!"

'The good news is that all the teachers liked the weekend brainstorming retreat. The bad news is that twelve of them are out today with splitting headaches.'

"Any missed assignments can be excused only with a note from your internet service provider."

"Blood sweat and tears. I think it's supposed to make us feel guilty."

'I give all my new teachers the same advice. Never minimize the transformative power of a smile attached to your words.'

'Teacher says I don't pay attention, I have no retention but I'm great at detention.'

"Just teachers' lounge will suffice, Ed."

'If it's alright with your agent, Kolwalski, I'd like to hand the ball off to you.'

'Impressive credentials - BA Columbia, MBA Harvard, stints as CFO and CEO at three major corporations - and what's this about being a bluesman?'

"There are thirty four children in my class...thirty one naughty, three nice."

'Don't worry, the first thirty years of teaching are the hardest.'

'To you, it's alphabet soup...to me, it's verbal abuse.'

Frank Lloyd Wright

Clown silencers.

Executive's in and out boxes are labeled - One Ear and The Other.

'What do our service charges cover? -- people who ask too many questions!'

'No, you don't have fever. You have to go to school.'

Man pushing elderly lady in a wheelchair.

'Now's a good time to get a feel for your negotiating skills.'

'I hope that is not too much of an inconvenience for you, but I'm desperate to hold on to good teachers.'

"So what attracted you to us?"