Engineer Extraordinaire Gifts

'...dam maintenance man Clark Wagner has a miraculous brainstorm.'

Profit

"Look, a bug!"

Heading off with a packed bag

"That was a great ideaof yours, chester."

The Airport.

"I'll be there in three 'All Too Well's."

"I just figured she was holding all my calls. Turns out she's been running the company."

Never ending to do list

Easter Island Tours. Theories differ. Ernie believes they were used to display a selection of giant wigs.

"Every single day, guys ask you for advice about women, work, sports... Haven't you ever even heard of the law of supply and demand?. . .I'd be glad to steer the downtrodden and the forlorn your way for a mere 82% of the man-to-man-talk fee."

'CPA's' evolving into 'Consultants'

'Let me through, let me through, I'm a computer geek.'

"Fred, just how remote is this remote fishing spot of yours?"

"Darren Eggleston. I saw that!"

"Don't forget to click 'Reply All.'"

Bad news...we're running out of ice.

'The good news is that all the teachers liked the weekend brainstorming retreat. The bad news is that twelve of them are out today with splitting headaches.'

A man on a desert island has an inbox and outbox both filled with sand.

'Look at the bright side. Think of our mutual funds going up, up, up!'

"Any missed assignments can be excused only with a note from your internet service provider."

"Blood sweat and tears. I think it's supposed to make us feel guilty."

Confusing directions.

Tourist Directions

'I give all my new teachers the same advice. Never minimize the transformative power of a smile attached to your words.'

'Teacher says I don't pay attention, I have no retention but I'm great at detention.'

Hey, wow, Trevor's found a way to trainspot on the internet.

"It's confusing, son, but I'll try to explain: A nerd is a dork who's headed for college. A wonk is a nerd with one or more Ph.D.s. And then there' s the Uber-Wonk, like Daddy, who gets interviewed on TV all the time!"

'Impressive credentials - BA Columbia, MBA Harvard, stints as CFO and CEO at three major corporations - and what's this about being a bluesman?'

Air catarrh.

'I'm afarid your son has all the classic elements of geekism,minus the technical expertise.'

"Enjoy it while you can, kid. It's a really short hop from 'Geek Genius' to 'Quasi-Creepy, Weird-Looking Old Rich Guy!'"

'It says, the higher a man's I.Q., the longer he's a virgin... well, bud... here's your Nobel Prize nomination!'

"There are thirty four children in my class...thirty one naughty, three nice."

'Don't worry, the first thirty years of teaching are the hardest.'