Educator Extraordinaire Gifts

'Don't worry, the first thirty years of teaching are the hardest.'

'I taught junior high for fifteen years.'

'I give all my new teachers the same advice. Never minimize the transformative power of a smile attached to your words.'

'The good news is that all the teachers liked the weekend brainstorming retreat. The bad news is that twelve of them are out today with splitting headaches.'

'Teacher says I don't pay attention, I have no retention but I'm great at detention.'

'Can I bring an attorney with me to open school night?'

'No, you don't have fever. You have to go to school.'

"I started to add anecdotal notes about each student's behavior to my grade book. Now the book is too heavy to life."

"Any missed assignments can be excused only with a note from your internet service provider."

"Line up for chow, maggots!!"

"There are thirty four children in my class...thirty one naughty, three nice."

"Darren Eggleston. I saw that!"

"Mrs. Wilmore, I want to be just like you when I grow up. Falling asleep at my desk."

"Your son has an attention deficit disorder. He's not getting enough of it from you."

'I am a little like a surrogate parent, social worker, ring master, juggler, motivator, leader, nutritionist and drill sergeant.'

Frank Lloyd Wright

'I love it but I think I aged five years while earning it.'

'I can't talk dirty... I'm a third grade teacher.'

"Blood sweat and tears. I think it's supposed to make us feel guilty."

"Okay, this is the final week of Hispanic heritage month...let's explore the ramifications of 15th century Spanish colonialism."

A Puppet Named Juan

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

Lynching on social media

"You're fired."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Hate Platforms

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

Opportunities in Coronatimes

Ethics exam cheater.

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

Now leaving designated Free Speech Zone. Shut it!

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"