Judge Extraordinaire Gifts

Profit

'Your teacher doesn't mind a little clowning around in class, Eddie, but she thinks you overdo it.'

"I just figured she was holding all my calls. Turns out she's been running the company."

'CPA's' evolving into 'Consultants'

"Every single day, guys ask you for advice about women, work, sports... Haven't you ever even heard of the law of supply and demand?. . .I'd be glad to steer the downtrodden and the forlorn your way for a mere 82% of the man-to-man-talk fee."

In and out, in and out, in and out...

"Darren Eggleston. I saw that!"

'The good news is that all the teachers liked the weekend brainstorming retreat. The bad news is that twelve of them are out today with splitting headaches.'

'Look at the bright side. Think of our mutual funds going up, up, up!'

"Any missed assignments can be excused only with a note from your internet service provider."

'Disqualified!... He did not yell 'Boing' when he jumped!'

"Blood sweat and tears. I think it's supposed to make us feel guilty."

'I give all my new teachers the same advice. Never minimize the transformative power of a smile attached to your words.'

'Teacher says I don't pay attention, I have no retention but I'm great at detention.'

'If it's alright with your agent, Kolwalski, I'd like to hand the ball off to you.'

"Just teachers' lounge will suffice, Ed."

'Impressive credentials - BA Columbia, MBA Harvard, stints as CFO and CEO at three major corporations - and what's this about being a bluesman?'

"There are thirty four children in my class...thirty one naughty, three nice."

"A lot of questions about EVs are cleared up once you start driving one."

"Enjoy it while you can, kid. It's a really short hop from 'Geek Genius' to 'Quasi-Creepy, Weird-Looking Old Rich Guy!'"

'Don't worry, the first thirty years of teaching are the hardest.'

'I'm sorry - Mr. Jenkins, MBA, PhD, MD, Esq. is O.U.T.'

Clown silencers.

"My biggest strength would probably be my giant chicken legs."

'Get Rich' Stock Brokers and 'Get Even' Attorney-at-law.

'My Dad's got a black belt for cooking!'

Executive's in and out boxes are labeled - One Ear and The Other.

'No, you don't have fever. You have to go to school.'

'Sanjay will be giving my report on 'OUTSOURCING'.'

"Can you do any other impressions, apart from; John, your milkman?"

'I hope that is not too much of an inconvenience for you, but I'm desperate to hold on to good teachers.'

"So what attracted you to us?"

'Can I bring an attorney with me to open school night?'