Applicant Extraordinaire Gifts

"My biggest strength would probably be my giant chicken legs."

Profit

"Look, a bug!"

'You lack the expertise we're looking for, Mr Wheaton - but darn it, I like your attitude.'

Heading off with a packed bag

Caged Businessman

"You inhabit the body of someone who has an impressive résumé."

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

"That's the last time I write my own resume!"

The Airport.

"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"

'Sorry - The position has already been filled."

"Every single day, guys ask you for advice about women, work, sports... Haven't you ever even heard of the law of supply and demand?. . .I'd be glad to steer the downtrodden and the forlorn your way for a mere 82% of the man-to-man-talk fee."

"Stop applying! You've been accepted to three universities!"

"I'm afraid we have very little in the salary range you're accustomed to."

"Fred, just how remote is this remote fishing spot of yours?"

'CPA's' evolving into 'Consultants'

'...the job is so much harder when you don't know what you are doing.'

'This test will determinbe which of you gets the position. Who wants to jump first?'

In and out, in and out, in and out...

'Do you have an appointment?'

Branch Manager Interviews: "Who's next?"

"Your CV is amazing. The boss would love you. So unfortunately you've been unsuccessful in your application."

"...and before that, I was an embryo."

"Darren Eggleston. I saw that!"

'The good news is that all the teachers liked the weekend brainstorming retreat. The bad news is that twelve of them are out today with splitting headaches.'

'You've impressed the interview panel, but our handwriting analyst has determined that you're insane.'

"Any missed assignments can be excused only with a note from your internet service provider."

"Blood sweat and tears. I think it's supposed to make us feel guilty."

Confusing directions.

'You're a good first draft. We would like to see a finished version.'

Tourist Directions

'Any awards or honors?'

'This is a very impressive resume. Did you pad it yourself.'