Executor Extraordinaire Gifts

Man cutting his son out of his will and sending his valuable paintings to the blind asylum

Profit

'Your teacher doesn't mind a little clowning around in class, Eddie, but she thinks you overdo it.'

"That was a great ideaof yours, chester."

"There's no need for your kitty to be envious. After state and federal taxes and legal administrative fees, Chessy's share of Aunt Martha's estate came to hardly anything."

Never ending to do list

"I just figured she was holding all my calls. Turns out she's been running the company."

'CPA's' evolving into 'Consultants'

"Every single day, guys ask you for advice about women, work, sports... Haven't you ever even heard of the law of supply and demand?. . .I'd be glad to steer the downtrodden and the forlorn your way for a mere 82% of the man-to-man-talk fee."

Attack of the 50 foot administrative professional.

In and out, in and out, in and out...

'If it's alright with your agent, Kolwalski, I'd like to hand the ball off to you.'

'Impressive credentials - BA Columbia, MBA Harvard, stints as CFO and CEO at three major corporations - and what's this about being a bluesman?'

Clown silencers.

"My biggest strength would probably be my giant chicken legs."

'My Dad's got a black belt for cooking!'

Executive's in and out boxes are labeled - One Ear and The Other.

'He's gone. Call the auctioneer.'

'What do our service charges cover? -- people who ask too many questions!'

"Just like he did when he was alive the lazy sod!"

'Now's a good time to get a feel for your negotiating skills.'

"So what attracted you to us?"

"I'll read the will."

'Pull my finger!'

Fabio Capello

Avram Grant

"We reviewed your application and we'd like to hire it - not you."

"Well yes, my husband is a bulldog, but a French bulldog, not an English bulldog, so he's a good cook..."

The local flesh-spots

Simon Cowell.

Clown Roulette

'Hey darling, I shall be late, missed the gravy train!'

'Its cost-benefit rate is low, and its risk-benefit rate is low, but its dirt-benefit rate is very, very high.'

Science Experiment.

'After chauffeuring the kids around for years, this business seemed like a natural!'