Opinion Polls Gifts

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

'We get 183 channels, and I still don't know what I think.'

'I just decreased the accuracy of their poll by a plus or minus ten points!'

"I may not know all the answers but I'm only eight seasons old!"

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

'Kroft, Kroft, Kroft...to thine own demographic be true!'

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

Annual Pollsters Convention. Wow, who could've predicted such a low turnout?

'Which scares you most - Iran, North Korea, or the alternative minimum tax?'

Others' perceptions (which aren't always true)

'For? Against? Undecided? Uniformed? Apathetic? This is one accurate poll!'

'Yes. No. Sometimes. No. No. Yes. Don't know. Sometimes. Yes. Mo.'

'And now, an NBS News Special Investigative Report: Why doesn't President Obama get the respect and support he deserves?'

Election Time

"It's a seasonal thing....Like the first gritters of the winter and the first cuckoo of spring!"

If students are more than a test score why aren't teachers?

The first accurate poll.

What's your stupid opinion on the following...

"I'm undecided, but that doesn't mean I'm apathetic or uninformed."

I'm in favor of missiles, anti-missiles, and anti-anti missiles, but I'm against proliferation of anti-anti-anti missiles. Opinion Poll.

Mori, Ipsos, Gallup, just nosey

"But, what if we're attacked in the press?"

"The latest numbers are in. More voters want you to drop out than to run."

Climate Change is Real

"Pew researchers!"

Babbling Idiot

'I prefer 'Baby Boomer' over 'Senior Citizen'.'

'Sorry, sir, but we don't have a category for that.'

'You are polling very well with the highly motivated 18 to 26 year olds who never vote.'

'According to yesterday's poll, 46% of people support having rain tomorrow while 36% are against. 24% are undecided.'

'I KNOW the country is deeply divided!'

Put us down as decidedly and definitely more positive than "maybe" but probably something not quite so strong as "perhaps."

Mr. Frog. Poll. Poll. I'm not looking forward to this. Amphibians can never make up their minds --- first it's one way and then the other.

Survey results: 9 out of 10 angels feel that dancing on the head of a pin is demeaning and potentially quite hazardous.

"And don't waste your time canvassing the whole building, young man. We think alike."