Opinion Polls Prints

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

'We get 183 channels, and I still don't know what I think.'

'I just decreased the accuracy of their poll by a plus or minus ten points!'

"I may not know all the answers but I'm only eight seasons old!"

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

'Kroft, Kroft, Kroft...to thine own demographic be true!'

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

'Which scares you most - Iran, North Korea, or the alternative minimum tax?'

Others' perceptions (which aren't always true)

'For? Against? Undecided? Uniformed? Apathetic? This is one accurate poll!'

'Yes. No. Sometimes. No. No. Yes. Don't know. Sometimes. Yes. Mo.'

Election Time

The first accurate poll.

If students are more than a test score why aren't teachers?

"It's a seasonal thing....Like the first gritters of the winter and the first cuckoo of spring!"

What's your stupid opinion on the following...

"I'm undecided, but that doesn't mean I'm apathetic or uninformed."

Climate Change is Real

Babbling Idiot

"The latest numbers are in. More voters want you to drop out than to run."

"But, what if we're attacked in the press?"

'I prefer 'Baby Boomer' over 'Senior Citizen'.'

'Sorry, sir, but we don't have a category for that.'

'You are polling very well with the highly motivated 18 to 26 year olds who never vote.'

'I KNOW the country is deeply divided!'

'According to yesterday's poll, 46% of people support having rain tomorrow while 36% are against. 24% are undecided.'

Survey results: 9 out of 10 angels feel that dancing on the head of a pin is demeaning and potentially quite hazardous.

'...Best of all, Mr. President, 83 of high school dropouts on welfare think you're doing an EXCELLENT job!'

"No opinion, eh? Well, I'll put you down as 'lair.'"

"And don't waste your time canvassing the whole building, young man. We think alike."

SMACKATORY