Opinion Polling Gifts

'For? Against? Undecided? Uniformed? Apathetic? This is one accurate poll!'

'I personally don't care what your opinion is. I just didn't like the way you said it.'

'Kroft, Kroft, Kroft...to thine own demographic be true!'

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

Annual Pollsters Convention. Wow, who could've predicted such a low turnout?

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

Like Minded

Others' perceptions (which aren't always true)

'Can you spare a minute, madam - I'm doing a king of all I survey.'

'Which scares you most - Iran, North Korea, or the alternative minimum tax?'

'Yes. No. Sometimes. No. No. Yes. Don't know. Sometimes. Yes. Mo.'

Carl's still 51 annoyed at you for saying his opinion was statistically insignificant.

I conduct comprehensive surveys - I ask my girlfriend.

Pollsters: Mori, Gallup and Just Nosey.

Election Time

'And now, an NBS News Special Investigative Report: Why doesn't President Obama get the respect and support he deserves?'

Radomly selected poll respondent

On - Undecided - Off switch

"On a scale of one to ten. How happy would you say you are?"

"Thank you for participating in this poll, but because your answers do not coincide with your social media rantings, you're obviously lying."

What's your stupid opinion on the following...

If students are more than a test score why aren't teachers?

"It's seasonal, like the first gritters of Winter and the first cuckoos of Spring...the first pollsters of the election!"

"Hmm... I wonder what I can find to trigger my self-righteous indignation today..?"

LIBERAL MEDIA POLLS, 'Do you think President Obama is doing a great job, a wonderful job, or an absolutely terrific job?'

"It's a seasonal thing....Like the first gritters of the winter and the first cuckoo of spring!"

"I'm undecided, but that doesn't mean I'm apathetic or uninformed."

'Our next question: is the world a safer place than it was a year ago?'

'I'm taking a north poll.'

I'm in favor of missiles, anti-missiles, and anti-anti missiles, but I'm against proliferation of anti-anti-anti missiles. Opinion Poll.

'We get 183 channels, and I still don't know what I think.'

Babbling Idiot

Mori, Ipsos, Gallup, just nosey