Online Shopping Skeptics Pillows

'It was a huge mistake buying shoes over the internet: They're so uncomfortable...'

"I can't find anything on line. I'm going to the mall."

Delivery slots unavailable

How Amazon was invented

"Do you remember ordering 1,345 cans of tuna?"

"Didn't I warn you about buying medication from the internet?!"

Buy on-line - Fill in form, Fill in form again, And again, Lose form, Fill-in form a few more times, Give up and go to shop...

"I'm sorry, your grapefruit subscription ran out and I forgot to renew it."

"You get one every time you order something online."

"So, with internet shopping and guaranteed next-day delivery, I figured now was as good a time as any to hang my sack up and retire."

Internet Shoplifting

'I'm trying to figure out online shopping. I've found some pants I like, but I can't find a fitting room.'

'Don't forget to delete cookies when you shop online!!"

'I found it on Craig's List.'

"I'm just checking eBay to see if there's any movement on that new liver you need."

Angry Joseph in school nativity play says to Innkeeper: 'No, we did not book online.'

'I bought him off the Internet. Don't be alarmed if there's a small charge on your credit card.'

"Even on the internet my Mom shops til she drops"

"She used to shop until she dropped, but with online shopping, we lost that protection."

"They looked smaller on the website."

"I'm just concerned that we're forgetting the true meaning of Cyber Monday."

"When they guaranteed delivery anywhere, anyplace, they weren't kidding."

It says 'item is returnable if repackaged exactly as sent.'"

End Of Consumer Confidence Sale

Financial Christmas

'Well, we're still tweaking a few bugs in our online ordering service...'

"And no matter how many times they got it redelivered they were never home to receive the package."

'You shop we drop.'

Never divulge your credit card pin number to your children!'

"Yes, I do all my shopping online. How did you know?"

"It's amazing what you can buy online."

'Are you happy, dad? I'm good on reading! I can read fish dealers' websites... your credit card number...'

Bidder 2 bids £4 - 'Peel bids £5. Take that, Bidder 2.' - 'Bidder 2 bids £6.' - '£8. How you like it now, bitch, eh?!' - 'Bidder 2 bids £9.' - 'Give me the damn 'bread maker'!!!' -