Online Presence Strategist Pillows

'Something that'll get me googled,'

"I can always tell when Philip is working on family finances. A 'cursor' appears on both sides of the computer screen."

Obsession with the Internet.

Eldrow

"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."

'Jeff is a tackle on his online college football team.'

"Hack back with all you've got!"

"Get used to verifications. In the court of the internet, you are presumed a robot until proven otherwise."

"I'm recommending more video games. I'm worried about his hand eye coordination."

"Tell me when it's all cyber warfare, and I'll enlist!"

I'm ego surfing right now, looking up my name on different search engines.

Bring it on, Scrabble nerd! Want to tell him directly? What do you mean? There's a chat function so you can taunt other online Scrabble players. Just type in your insult and hit send. Have I died and gone to heaven? The internet. And I suspect it' met its match.

Cyberwarfare

"I'm suffering the unbearable loneliness of being right on the internet."

"Have you considered vlogging?"

"According to our eye tracking studies,either nobody is looking at the content on our site, or all the participants have lazy eye."

'Sanders, our numbers on google are slipping, let's pump up the keywords.'

"Hi, I designed this Sim Game and I'm checking on staff morale."

"Harold died happy knowing he gained a certain immortality through social media."

'Crowd Source'

"Hmmmm. I'll bluff. Then they'll counter-bluff, so if I counter-counter-bluff...password should do it."

'You know it's time to bath the dog when he starts to smell like a gym bag!'

"If you retweet it and you have '0' followers, was it retweeted?"

Man stuck on desert island with WiFi router.

'I'm just updating my Facebook profile.'

'This is Thompson, he'll be getting your tea department online and working on it's global brand.'

"He'll be fine, he won't even notice we've been gone a fortnight."

'Now that we're an E-business, maybe we should buy a computer.'

"And having a gazillion fake fans? That also came from social media, Tommy."

"Okay, I'll admit it. I'm only dating you so you'll follow me on social media."

'No partnership, but you can be on my Twitter list.'

'First there was Pinter-esque. Then there was Pinter-est.'

'Our latest business analysis best practices came from the Twitosphere, via the blogoshphere, just south of the webosphere.'

Modern Warfare

'You don't have to embrace social media for your business, but you should at least shake hands with it.'