Web Strategist Pillows

'After being on my site all day, it's nice to see some traffic.'

"I'm suffering the unbearable loneliness of being right on the internet."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"#Win!"

Likes: $2.

"I can always tell when Philip is working on family finances. A 'cursor' appears on both sides of the computer screen."

"Looking at you, the moon and beyond, don't you think we could start a blog?"

Obsession with the Internet.

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

'Our little guy is busy with homework, or if we're lucky, some sort of social network start-up.'

"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

'Don't bite. They're trolling again.'

'You're good with people. Just tell him to go fuck himself.'

Technology and Love

"Hack back with all you've got!"

Internet Cafe.

"To be clear you are willing to labor under misconceptions?"

"Get used to verifications. In the court of the internet, you are presumed a robot until proven otherwise."

"Good afternoon, Ted. I'm your online presence."

"Hi, I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn."

'We've postponed the wedding until we come up with something we can do at the ceremony that will become a viral video.'

"Oh, and add a couple of intentional typos to my weekly email update...I want to appear warm and authentic!!"

"I'm trying to grow a cancel culture – but it keeps dividing and dividing until there's nothing left."

"Social media stocks have taken a beating I'm seeing a lot of avatars on ledges."

"I may have been the runt of the litter, but online I'm the alpha dog."

Hard Hat Area/Hard Nosed Area.

"Do you have a link I can click on that removes me from all future conversations with you?"