Seo Strategist Pillows

"Remember son: give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to write search engine optimized content, and you feed him for a lifetime."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

Likes: $2.

"#Win!"

"Quit stalling, Smithers. Where's the SALES chart?"

Obsession with the Internet.

"Looking at you, the moon and beyond, don't you think we could start a blog?"

"I can always tell when Philip is working on family finances. A 'cursor' appears on both sides of the computer screen."

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

'Our little guy is busy with homework, or if we're lucky, some sort of social network start-up.'

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

'Don't bite. They're trolling again.'

Thin Tank and Emote Tank.

Technology and Love

"Get used to verifications. In the court of the internet, you are presumed a robot until proven otherwise."

"Hack back with all you've got!"

Wordplay: Nonstarter.

Internet Cafe.

"Good afternoon, Ted. I'm your online presence."

'We've postponed the wedding until we come up with something we can do at the ceremony that will become a viral video.'

"Hi, I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn."

"I'm trying to grow a cancel culture – but it keeps dividing and dividing until there's nothing left."

Inflation Is Up, Interest Rates Are Going Up. . . I'm Asking You To UP Your Donation.

"I may have been the runt of the litter, but online I'm the alpha dog."

"Social media stocks have taken a beating I'm seeing a lot of avatars on ledges."