Cyber Strategist Pillows

"You all know General Petersen from I.T."

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

'Bad news, sir -- there's a leak in our think tank!'

"I can always tell when Philip is working on family finances. A 'cursor' appears on both sides of the computer screen."

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

Obsession with the Internet.

'Irwin graduates from an online course today.'

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

'You're good with people. Just tell him to go fuck himself.'

'See here, Flanigan ? what's this I hear about you going over my head to the computer?'

"Hack back with all you've got!"

"To be clear you are willing to labor under misconceptions?"

"Get used to verifications. In the court of the internet, you are presumed a robot until proven otherwise."

"Oh, and add a couple of intentional typos to my weekly email update...I want to appear warm and authentic!!"

These young people need everything spelled out to them! I miss the old days, when a wink was a wink, and a nod was a nod.

'There you go again - trying to solve my problems. I am not asking you to do that. I just want you to listen to me.'

"I'm recommending more video games. I'm worried about his hand eye coordination."

"Tell me when it's all cyber warfare, and I'll enlist!"

"You kids are losing your ability to communicate person-to-person...so we're having a good old-fashioned family talk!"

Cyberwarfare

"I'm suffering the unbearable loneliness of being right on the internet."

'Computer editing software with an obnoxious ego.' 'Look, you really don't want to say that, do you?'

After paying the IT consultants we didn't have enough left for proper laptops!

"According to our eye tracking studies,either nobody is looking at the content on our site, or all the participants have lazy eye."

'Technology is wonderful. It makes your people so much easier to use.'

"Since you became a management consultant we don't seem to speak sense any more."

"Hi, I designed this Sim Game and I'm checking on staff morale."

"Holding an open contest on social media and announcing the winner may not be the most secure way to pick a password."

Rodin, the surfer.

'Sales are down. We tried to make the latest version, of our best selling software, foolproof. Apparently, someone was making better fools.'

"Effective and CLEAR communication with customers is ESSENTIAL so we're going to practise drilling down to identify core interpersonal information transfer methodologies to accelerate a meaningful dialogue."