Online Presence Strategist Gifts

"I can always tell when Philip is working on family finances. A 'cursor' appears on both sides of the computer screen."

Obsession with the Internet.

"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."

"Hack back with all you've got!"

"Get used to verifications. In the court of the internet, you are presumed a robot until proven otherwise."

"I'm recommending more video games. I'm worried about his hand eye coordination."

"Tell me when it's all cyber warfare, and I'll enlist!"

Cyberwarfare

"I'm suffering the unbearable loneliness of being right on the internet."

"According to our eye tracking studies,either nobody is looking at the content on our site, or all the participants have lazy eye."

"Hi, I designed this Sim Game and I'm checking on staff morale."

"Hmmmm. I'll bluff. Then they'll counter-bluff, so if I counter-counter-bluff...password should do it."

'This is Thompson, he'll be getting your tea department online and working on it's global brand.'

Man stuck on desert island with WiFi router.

"If you retweet it and you have '0' followers, was it retweeted?"

'You know it's time to bath the dog when he starts to smell like a gym bag!'

"He'll be fine, he won't even notice we've been gone a fortnight."

'Now that we're an E-business, maybe we should buy a computer.'

'First there was Pinter-esque. Then there was Pinter-est.'

'You don't have to embrace social media for your business, but you should at least shake hands with it.'

Modern Warfare

'No partnership, but you can be on my Twitter list.'

'I prefer old fashion email messages. I can always deny I ever got them.'

"Okay, I'll admit it. I'm only dating you so you'll follow me on social media."