Online Strategist Gifts

'Jeff is a tackle on his online college football team.'

Obsession with the Internet.

So begins the twitter wars.

Eldrow

"I can always tell when Philip is working on family finances. A 'cursor' appears on both sides of the computer screen."

"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."

'I have a homepage, therefore I am.'

Fiscal Compass for the Global Investor.

The Decline of Europe

Cyb-R Safe: Offering the most convincing illusion of on-line security available today!

Business school graduate trying to climb to the top of the world

"Did you get my e-mail about who takes out the trash today?"

"Hack back with all you've got!"

It's 10PM. Do you know who is in control of Pakistan's nukes?

"Get used to verifications. In the court of the internet, you are presumed a robot until proven otherwise."

"Good afternoon, Ted. I'm your online presence."

Hard Hat Area/Hard Nosed Area.

A collective sigh of relief.

Armstrong, the new Ybox game console comes out next week. I've got to get in line at Computer Villa. Nope. You are callous and inhumane. Fortunately, I have a backup plan. Computer Villa sale! If anyone cuts, chew their nose off.

'hold the blog - I got a bargain in the sales'

"I'm recommending more video games. I'm worried about his hand eye coordination."

"Tell me when it's all cyber warfare, and I'll enlist!"

"I'm suffering the unbearable loneliness of being right on the internet."

Cyberwarfare

'Something that'll get me googled,'

Bring it on, Scrabble nerd! Want to tell him directly? What do you mean? There's a chat function so you can taunt other online Scrabble players. Just type in your insult and hit send. Have I died and gone to heaven? The internet. And I suspect it' met its match.

Rock champion (Rock, paper, scissors).

'You'll have more luck getting the sword out of the stone than getting the remote control out of his hand.'

New Silk Road,

"According to our eye tracking studies,either nobody is looking at the content on our site, or all the participants have lazy eye."

"I'm leaning towards cake as the new global currency...but are you sure these are our best options?"

'Sanders, our numbers on google are slipping, let's pump up the keywords.'

'Tweet, tweet...Acme Bird Seed is the best, tweet.'

'No, you can't write off the cost of your wake-up call service.'

"Threatened the prosperity of the free world lately?"