Online Presence Guru Pillows

"Still no followers? I'm such a loser!"

'How fast can you hype?'

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

"I got 30 likes but Mom's was not one of them."

Obsession with the Internet.

'I took a couple of years off after college to work on my smirk.'

'We no longer look at résumés. We go straight to your Facebook page.'

Your ad here!

"Remember when we were Instagram models?"

"I have a personal blog, therefore I am!"

"Is that you talking or Wikipedia?"

"Great, the end of the world and I'm going to be first on facebook with pictures!!"

'My blog has been favourited over half a million times but still no book deal!'

The Acme Agency: "Dedicated to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Media Exposure."

'Does a blog count as being published.'

An opera singer

The White House's Trojan Horse

'Your honor, we are appealing on grounds the post-trial book deals didn't match the pre-trial publicity.'

"Your son's web presence doesn't make up for his truancy."

Media Darling.

Doctcom

'Tweet, tweet...Acme Bird Seed is the best, tweet.'

Alphabet Soup: Now in a bold new font.

"The tweet you posted last night struck a chord around the world, united all factions, and basically altered the course of humanity."

"It's Bring Your Child To Work To Show You How To Use Social Media Day."