Online Joker Pillows

Follow me on Twitter...

'Irwin is computer savvy, but his virtual persona is even more boring than his real persona.'

"Sorry, website closed for lunch."

Yeah, I used to get on message boards...

"Nope, not what livestream means, Bob."

Hot date tonight, little buddy? I'll say. I met a super-smart, really amazing lady. We're going to hook up tonight. By that I mean we're going to get together and troll all the true believers at the Reptilian Illuminati are controlling everything Facebook group. Sigh ... Well, at least you're going to be in the company of another human being. By get together, I mean we're going to post comments in the same threads.

'Well, not his very last words, just his last words on twitter.'

'Oops. My mistake they actually 'enemied' me.'

Like me on Facebook?

"On the internet, nobody knows I'm a dog because I use a cat profile pic."

"We lost Mr. Speak No Evil when he became a blogger."

Bob has invited you to like his site 'People Who Hate To Get Invitations To Like Sites'.

Send this message to ten of your friends and you will be happy...

"You look a lot different than your profile picture."

"She's at that age when everything embarrasses her. She said so on Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, Instagram, Tumblr..."

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

'Asynchronous, collaborative, interactive - we're obviously on a roll.'

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

"Your mother called to remind you to diversify."

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tick, tock-tock, tickety-tick tock ….

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

'Bad news, sir -- there's a leak in our think tank!'

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

'You really want that promotion, don't you, Sherman?'

'How about a game of cards?'

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

"And best of all, it comes fully loaded!"

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

'Please leave the light on, dear. I'm afraid there might be OSHA inspectors under the bed.' 'Managers at Night.'

Get crazy once in a while

'Before we start, shall we go round the table, and each share our name and a horrible dark secret from our past.'

'All right! Who put my dozing-off during our last meeting on youtube?'

'What's the smallest budget you can manage on?' 'The most you can give me!'