Online Charmers Pillows

'You will tweet a tall dark stranger.'

Online Dating

You're the olive in my martini

My diagnosis? Restless tongue syndrome.

"Next time, dear, ask me first before you invite a friend over for dinner."

'May I have the key to your heart?'

'Do you come here often?'

"Just remember, kid...whether you post on Facebook, Twitter or YouTube...it's all show biz."

A guy tries his luck at the water cooler.

I conduct comprehensive surveys - I ask my girlfriend.

Social Notworking

"Your difficulty communicating how you really feel, is because of your inherent inability to display complex emotion."

Turn on chat. Delete conversation.

'Tell me something about yourself that I haven't Googled.'

'He was taller online!'

"So like, it's so cool to finally meet you in person."

"Ooh, this looks nice. Would you like to go for a scroll?"

"It's lunchtime! Have you finished saying 'Good Morning' on your WhatsApp Groups?"

"If you think you've earned this by consistently retweeting my tweets -- you're right."

"Yeah yeah, nice, but how many online followers do you have?"

Rats drawn to Facebook instead of Pied Piper.

'I suppose you want to be served.' - 'No, but I wouldn't mind being included in the conversation.'

Football Chameleon

"I'm singing the 'no one LIKED my vacation facebook post' blues."

A woman with a laptop

Brownie Size/Okay to Eat

Alexa and Siri girl talk.

'It's rude to talk to someone with your sunglasses on - they can't see your . . er . . limpid pools of loveliness.'

An Irishman unfamiliar with how a telephone works

"You're looking good today. Is that a new dress? By the way, I'm sure this is a mistake...maybe you can raise it to..."

'So, your place, or my mother's.'

Twitter vs Threads

"Make a face that will inspire a meme."

Sex and the Old City

Randy, if you could be ANY superhero, which one would you be? I'd be Randy-Man. He came to earth with powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men. He's slower than a speeding bullet, because he takes his time in all things. He can change the course of a lady's evening with a single smile. I don't think The Avengers would have much use for Randy-Man.