Charm Charmers Pillows

'It's rude to talk to someone with your sunglasses on - they can't see your . . er . . limpid pools of loveliness.'

Pet Shop: "I think I've found one for me."

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

"Might I suggest something wicked for dessert?"

You're the olive in my martini

"Oooooh....a western wear dog cone. Sexy!"

'May I have the key to your heart?'

"Pie chart"

"The red bars represent the obscene numbers this quarter. The black bars are censoring those red bars."

Perhaps we could get the Saatchis to pain a pretty picture.

"Ding" "Dong"

Fat Man Viewing Pie Chart Thinks About Real Pie

Ralph has lots of animal magnetism.

'I will now play a selection of digital audio files I downloaded today.'

"Warm and rich, fresh and bright, with depth and intensity. Not the wine, you."

"Remember... the cork. You're supposed to smell the cork!"

"Don't think of them as fleas. Think of them as your entourage!"

"I think I'll report us to the Better Business Bureau."

Women rush to man with 'I heart emotions' t-shirt.

"So like, it's so cool to finally meet you in person."

Up please...

"First, let me begin by admitting that the unexpected and rather brazen theft of our teleprompter has left me somewhat speechless."

'Do you have anything that smells like wedding bells?'

Spot's favorite game is "hard to pet".

'I practice my presentation before tomorrow's meeting and it gets him right to sleep.'

"I just got released from da pound. What's yer name, sweetie?"

Brownie Size/Okay to Eat

'It goes with your eyes.'

"I'm working on finding a healthier alternative to sniffing butts."

"My master got my new tags. Now I've got collar ID!"

Football Chameleon

'You will tweet a tall dark stranger.'

"Notice that, once the twentysomething men enter the environment, the chameleon instantly develops an opinion on David Foster Wallace."

Sit! Stay!