Charmers Pillows

'So, your place, or my mother's.'

'The dog and cat followed me home, the bird flew in the window and the fish swam up the toilet. Obviously I have animal magnetism.'

"You're looking good today. Is that a new dress? By the way, I'm sure this is a mistake...maybe you can raise it to..."

You're the olive in my martini

'May I have the key to your heart?'

'Tasty.'

Houdini re-incarnated.

'I will now play a selection of digital audio files I downloaded today.'

"So like, it's so cool to finally meet you in person."

Up please...

'Are you blind, Ref, it's a fowl!'

'Be honest. Do I have ugly feet?'

'It's rude to talk to someone with your sunglasses on - they can't see your . . er . . limpid pools of loveliness.'

'You will tweet a tall dark stranger.'

'It goes with your eyes.'

Brownie Size/Okay to Eat

Football Chameleon

An Irishman unfamiliar with how a telephone works

'Ohhh....I love your accent!'

"...and wagging your tail isn't going to get you off the hook."

Senior Pick-Up Lines

"He's a little shy around people."

"You have my pet and I have my pet!"

Sex and the Old City

'What church do YOU go to?'

"I just realised that I'm talking to myself."

"I wonder if Estella likes me. I'm probably too goofy and too car-obsessed."

Once again her smile had failed to light up the room.

Are you looking at my red trousers?

"Sandro! What a relief to see you up and smoldering again."

'Brace yourselves, ladies.'