Old-fashioned Charmers Pillows

An Irishman unfamiliar with how a telephone works

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

'This is a nice car Mr...did you have it from new?'

Colonial Larrysburg.

"Call Harris back from retirement and ask him how we did things around here before computers."

Old-fashioned computer

'Did you hear? We have a new slogan: Artisan-crafted wine made the old-world way.'

Wedding Wellies

Person Reading For Pleasure

Let me stand behind that one and you take my picture.

"So like, it's so cool to finally meet you in person."

"Son, you're old enough now to whittle your own condom."

Victorian bachelors leering over woman.

Cow selling milk from small roadside stand.

'It's rude to talk to someone with your sunglasses on - they can't see your . . er . . limpid pools of loveliness.'

The Country Wedding.

Spring Cleaning

Sex and the Old City

"...and wagging your tail isn't going to get you off the hook."

"You're looking good today. Is that a new dress? By the way, I'm sure this is a mistake...maybe you can raise it to..."

'So, your place, or my mother's.'

"It's not as easy as it looks."

Antiques: Please do not use door knocker.

Chimney Sweep

Senior Pick-Up Lines

"It's not outdated - it's retro."

'The dog and cat followed me home, the bird flew in the window and the fish swam up the toilet. Obviously I have animal magnetism.'

'What church do YOU go to?'

Once again her smile had failed to light up the room.

Oh Doug, that's so roooo-mantic!

"Hot enough for you?"

"Really? I've never known anyone in the phone book before."

'Belonged to a dear old lady who never had to pay a congestion charge in her life...'

"Sure, this used to be a one horse town, but not anymore...the horse died!"