Old School Charmers Pillows

"Hot enough for you?"

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

'This is a nice car Mr...did you have it from new?'

"Everybody meets online these days."

"Call Harris back from retirement and ask him how we did things around here before computers."

'Yes I think we did go to school together. Wasn't you the old headmistress?'

"'CPD'...stuff and nonsense, the old ways are fine for me, now pass me a hammer. I need to put this patient out!"

"Don't worry—it's just a phase."

Person Reading For Pleasure

"So like, it's so cool to finally meet you in person."

Let me stand behind that one and you take my picture.

Now that our kids are grown and the house is paid off...

Church in the year 2035.

'It's rude to talk to someone with your sunglasses on - they can't see your . . er . . limpid pools of loveliness.'

An Irishman unfamiliar with how a telephone works

'So, your place, or my mother's.'

Robert Mitchum

"You're looking good today. Is that a new dress? By the way, I'm sure this is a mistake...maybe you can raise it to..."

Sex and the Old City

"It's not outdated - it's retro."

Senior Pick-Up Lines

'I wish someone would get busy and invent toothpaste and deodorant!'

Chimney Sweep

'I got your text-message marriage proposal... and I've answered you by snail mail.'

'The dog and cat followed me home, the bird flew in the window and the fish swam up the toilet. Obviously I have animal magnetism.'

'Hey, Thunder Thighs, Bean Pole's here!'

"I want you to hire that last applicant. I went to high school with him. Pay him double the usual salary. . . then fire him the day! Revenge is sweet!"

Garrick club. Men's men only.

"Back in MY day scoring was done with grease pencils."

'Belonged to a dear old lady who never had to pay a congestion charge in her life...'

"Sure, this used to be a one horse town, but not anymore...the horse died!"

'I didn't know you could get electronic pipes too! Whatever next!'

'Tracy is in a good mood today. She's met an old school friend who's fatter than her now.'