Old School Charmers Mugs

"Hot enough for you?"

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

'This is a nice car Mr...did you have it from new?'

"Everybody meets online these days."

"Call Harris back from retirement and ask him how we did things around here before computers."

'Yes I think we did go to school together. Wasn't you the old headmistress?'

"'CPD'...stuff and nonsense, the old ways are fine for me, now pass me a hammer. I need to put this patient out!"

"Wait. Let it breathe."

"Don't worry—it's just a phase."

Person Reading For Pleasure

"So like, it's so cool to finally meet you in person."

Let me stand behind that one and you take my picture.

Now that our kids are grown and the house is paid off...

'Grandpa, what was the most romantic thing you ever tweeted grandma?'

Church in the year 2035.

'It's rude to talk to someone with your sunglasses on - they can't see your . . er . . limpid pools of loveliness.'

An Irishman unfamiliar with how a telephone works

Chimney Sweep

'I wish someone would get busy and invent toothpaste and deodorant!'

Senior Pick-Up Lines

"It's not outdated - it's retro."

Sex and the Old City

"You're looking good today. Is that a new dress? By the way, I'm sure this is a mistake...maybe you can raise it to..."

Robert Mitchum

'So, your place, or my mother's.'

'Hey, Thunder Thighs, Bean Pole's here!'

'The dog and cat followed me home, the bird flew in the window and the fish swam up the toilet. Obviously I have animal magnetism.'

'I got your text-message marriage proposal... and I've answered you by snail mail.'

"I want you to hire that last applicant. I went to high school with him. Pay him double the usual salary. . . then fire him the day! Revenge is sweet!"

Smoking Outside The Work Place.

Garrick club. Men's men only.

'Belonged to a dear old lady who never had to pay a congestion charge in her life...'

"Back in MY day scoring was done with grease pencils."

"Sure, this used to be a one horse town, but not anymore...the horse died!"

'I didn't know you could get electronic pipes too! Whatever next!'