Elderly Charmers Pillows

Senior Pick-Up Lines

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

Shirley Temple...The later years.. - 'Animal crackers in my poop...'

'Come die with me.'

"You boys who have to take your medications with food, now's the time."

"Meanwhile, in the Memory Care Unit... I said, your secret’s safe with me."

"So like, it's so cool to finally meet you in person."

"Warm and rich, fresh and bright, with depth and intensity. Not the wine, you."

Women rush to man with 'I heart emotions' t-shirt.

"It's the Florida kid."

'Hot dang! Ethel, check out Raymond's new twenty-twos!'

'Do you have anything that smells like wedding bells?'

"I see Arthur's arthritus is acting up again."

'It's rude to talk to someone with your sunglasses on - they can't see your . . er . . limpid pools of loveliness.'

"Fancy a bit of the other what, Reg?"

"Face it, Dear, we're in a desperate battle with gravity...and it's winning!"

An Irishman unfamiliar with how a telephone works

"Carmen, how are you today? Wait! Don't tell me! You're as wonderful and as beautiful and charming as ever!"

"With a name like Barney Stone, I do real well with the ladies on Valentine's day."

"Ready for your birthday present dear?" "Leave the diaper on! Leave the diaper on!"

"The kids have sent us an app that reminds you what you were thinking twenty minutes ago."

'So, your place, or my mother's.'

Sex and the Old City

"You're looking good today. Is that a new dress? By the way, I'm sure this is a mistake...maybe you can raise it to..."

Broadwalk Betrayal

"I'm not surprised about Methuselah. He was sick for 430 years."

'The dog and cat followed me home, the bird flew in the window and the fish swam up the toilet. Obviously I have animal magnetism.'

"I've done it, dear. I've finally paid off my student loan!"

"You're here for piles? Piles of what?"

'Nice! Just throw the food on the dirty ground! Thanks, Lady!'

You're a good looking man.

"Hot enough for you?"

"Sure, this used to be a one horse town, but not anymore...the horse died!"

Fidel Castro at 84: Where the hell is the nearest toilet!?

'I didn't know you could get electronic pipes too! Whatever next!'