Virtual Charmer Pillows

"Yeah yeah, nice, but how many online followers do you have?"

"I know we got early to catch him...but he looks so cute I just can't eat him!"

Online Dating

You're the olive in my martini

"Next time, dear, ask me first before you invite a friend over for dinner."

'May I have the key to your heart?'

"Ding" "Dong"

Ralph has lots of animal magnetism.

Women rush to man with 'I heart emotions' t-shirt.

"Warm and rich, fresh and bright, with depth and intensity. Not the wine, you."

"If you think you've earned this by consistently retweeting my tweets -- you're right."

'Do you have anything that smells like wedding bells?'

'Get lost. Can't you see I'm with someone?'

Rats drawn to Facebook instead of Pied Piper.

'I adore a man of many parts.'

Snake Charmer

"Todd and I are doing our best to make it work by never meeting in real life."

"I'm going to be honest with you, Noah. I've been virtually seeing someone else."

'You will tweet a tall dark stranger.'

'It's rude to talk to someone with your sunglasses on - they can't see your . . er . . limpid pools of loveliness.'

"And this model comes with a virtual mother-in-law in the back seat to make it feel authentic."

Sex and the Old City

"Carmen, how are you today? Wait! Don't tell me! You're as wonderful and as beautiful and charming as ever!"

"With a name like Barney Stone, I do real well with the ladies on Valentine's day."

"If you don't strike oil in the first minute then stop boring."

"I can't tell whether you're gazing into my eyes or checking your e-mail."

Medusa on Zoom.

Whiplash, 2020

'Judy, we need to talk. Would you meet me in a chat room tonight?'

Hunger mood warning system: Women vs. Men