Virtual Charmer Pillows

"Yeah yeah, nice, but how many online followers do you have?"

"I know we got early to catch him...but he looks so cute I just can't eat him!"

Online Dating

You're the olive in my martini

Aladdin conjures up a virtual genie.

"Next time, dear, ask me first before you invite a friend over for dinner."

'May I have the key to your heart?'

"Ding" "Dong"

Ralph has lots of animal magnetism.

'Tell me something about yourself that I haven't Googled.'

"Warm and rich, fresh and bright, with depth and intensity. Not the wine, you."

Women rush to man with 'I heart emotions' t-shirt.

"If you think you've earned this by consistently retweeting my tweets -- you're right."

'I adore a man of many parts.'

'Do you have anything that smells like wedding bells?'

Benny More

Rats drawn to Facebook instead of Pied Piper.

'Get lost. Can't you see I'm with someone?'

Snake Charmer

"Todd and I are doing our best to make it work by never meeting in real life."

He has musical armor that plays when the faceguard goes up? Yep. He's Prince "Chiming"!

'It's rude to talk to someone with your sunglasses on - they can't see your . . er . . limpid pools of loveliness.'

'You will tweet a tall dark stranger.'

"I'm going to be honest with you, Noah. I've been virtually seeing someone else."

Hey, Agatha. I've got some hot stuff for you. Nana? Take a look. Wow! Grade-A product. Thanks. Umm

"And this model comes with a virtual mother-in-law in the back seat to make it feel authentic."

"If you don't strike oil in the first minute then stop boring."

"Carmen, how are you today? Wait! Don't tell me! You're as wonderful and as beautiful and charming as ever!"

Sex and the Old City

Randy, if you could be ANY superhero, which one would you be? I'd be Randy-Man. He came to earth with powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men. He's slower than a speeding bullet, because he takes his time in all things. He can change the course of a lady's evening with a single smile. I don't think The Avengers would have much use for Randy-Man.

"With a name like Barney Stone, I do real well with the ladies on Valentine's day."

"I can't tell whether you're gazing into my eyes or checking your e-mail."

Whiplash, 2020

'Judy, we need to talk. Would you meet me in a chat room tonight?'

Medusa on Zoom.