Online Charmer Pillows

'Tell me something about yourself that I haven't Googled.'

"If you think you've earned this by consistently retweeting my tweets -- you're right."

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

Online Dating

'Hey, Baby! How would you like to kiss the frog formerly known as 'Prince'?'

You're the olive in my martini

My diagnosis? Restless tongue syndrome.

"Next time, dear, ask me first before you invite a friend over for dinner."

'May I have the key to your heart?'

"Ding" "Dong"

'Do you come here often?'

'I don't care what your chat group says. I say you're becoming overly dependent on technological gadgetry.'

I conduct comprehensive surveys - I ask my girlfriend.

Social Notworking

Tell me about your history. What are your interests? What kind of places do you visit? Are you careful? House of Java.net Cybercafe. You know what I mean: Are you the type that gets around? Your computer seems chaste. You may use it to send me an email. My laptop is virus-free. Freak.

Look, dork, I won't ask again. Will you help me use a computer? Maybe. What for? Internet Scrabble. I hear it is possible to play – what is the word? Online? I should like to send data over cyberspace. Through cyberspace.

I see. And why do you think you often feel lonely?

A guy tries his luck at the water cooler.

"Your difficulty communicating how you really feel, is because of your inherent inability to display complex emotion."

Turn on chat. Delete conversation.

'It's an email of a text that someone twittered...I think.'

"When did tweeting become such an angry thing?"

'I will now play a selection of digital audio files I downloaded today.'

'He was taller online!'

"So like, it's so cool to finally meet you in person."

"Ooh, this looks nice. Would you like to go for a scroll?"

No one said anything about blogging …

"It's lunchtime! Have you finished saying 'Good Morning' on your WhatsApp Groups?"

"Yeah yeah, nice, but how many online followers do you have?"

'Since you got your laptop you lost your lap.'

'It's nice to talk to you, Ms. Ponvert, but I need to get back to the blog I'm writing about people becoming more computer nerdy.'

Rats drawn to Facebook instead of Pied Piper.

Snake Charmer

"Believe me, the e-check is in the e-mail."

'I adore a man of many parts.'