Online Charmer T-Shirts

"If you think you've earned this by consistently retweeting my tweets -- you're right."

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

Online Dating

'Hey, Baby! How would you like to kiss the frog formerly known as 'Prince'?'

You're the olive in my martini

"Next time, dear, ask me first before you invite a friend over for dinner."

'May I have the key to your heart?'

"Ding" "Dong"

'Do you come here often?'

'I don't care what your chat group says. I say you're becoming overly dependent on technological gadgetry.'

A guy tries his luck at the water cooler.

I conduct comprehensive surveys - I ask my girlfriend.

"When did tweeting become such an angry thing?"

"Your difficulty communicating how you really feel, is because of your inherent inability to display complex emotion."

'I will now play a selection of digital audio files I downloaded today.'

'He was taller online!'

"So like, it's so cool to finally meet you in person."

"It's lunchtime! Have you finished saying 'Good Morning' on your WhatsApp Groups?"

"Ooh, this looks nice. Would you like to go for a scroll?"

"Yeah yeah, nice, but how many online followers do you have?"

"Believe me, the e-check is in the e-mail."

'It's nice to talk to you, Ms. Ponvert, but I need to get back to the blog I'm writing about people becoming more computer nerdy.'

'Since you got your laptop you lost your lap.'

Snake Charmer

'I adore a man of many parts.'

Rats drawn to Facebook instead of Pied Piper.

'I suppose you want to be served.' - 'No, but I wouldn't mind being included in the conversation.'