Social Charmer Pillows

He wasn't her type, but it was nice to be asked out. It was validating.

Pet Shop: "I think I've found one for me."

Dick was the kind of guy who wanted everyone to know it was his birthday.

Online Dating

You're the olive in my martini

"Oooooh....a western wear dog cone. Sexy!"

My diagnosis? Restless tongue syndrome.

"Next time, dear, ask me first before you invite a friend over for dinner."

'May I have the key to your heart?'

'Do you come here often?'

"You have a certain kind of charm, haven't you, Mr. Beadle? Well, that's all right. I'm not totally opposed to charm."

I conduct comprehensive surveys - I ask my girlfriend.

A guy tries his luck at the water cooler.

Hellbillies.

'I will now play a selection of digital audio files I downloaded today.'

'Tell me something about yourself that I haven't Googled.'

"Remember... the cork. You're supposed to smell the cork!"

Women rush to man with 'I heart emotions' t-shirt.

"Don't think of them as fleas. Think of them as your entourage!"

Street person selling bricks from wall he's leaning on.

"So like, it's so cool to finally meet you in person."

"If you think you've earned this by consistently retweeting my tweets -- you're right."

"Warm and rich, fresh and bright, with depth and intensity. Not the wine, you."

"Yeah yeah, nice, but how many online followers do you have?"

'Do you have anything that smells like wedding bells?'

Spot's favorite game is "hard to pet".

"Shaving your head takes the guesswork out of going bald."

'I do kiss up, but there's no tongue involved.'

Benny More

'I suppose you want to be served.' - 'No, but I wouldn't mind being included in the conversation.'

"My master got my new tags. Now I've got collar ID!"

"I'm working on finding a healthier alternative to sniffing butts."

'It's rude to talk to someone with your sunglasses on - they can't see your . . er . . limpid pools of loveliness.'

Alexa and Siri girl talk.

"You'll love Alex. He's got a lovely sense of humour."