Olympics Buff Gifts

"We may need to run a dope test..."

Olympics Ban

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!:

'Of course I stretched first. That's how I hurt myself.'

Runner collapsing over the finishing line.

US v.s. Tech Giants

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

'Have you no common scents?!'

'We're looking for athletic people.'

Stuff: You Don't Really Need But Still Don't Have.

"I told him he should have trained more."

7 brownies worth of exercise.

Woman forcing family to hike through hills.

Keep Fit.

Some scents are nonsense.

Arnold's first day on the job - 'What do you mean...no director!!!...and who is going to tell me what to do?'

Bessy had won the 100m sprint... but many suspected Steeroid abuse!

'Floppo' lottery rebranding

'Research shows that while the number of surfers is somewhat constant over the year, there is a sudden increase in casual bathers over Summer...'

'Einstein's theory of negativity'

Humpty Dumpty in Occupational Therapy

Gym. Instructor. Why do you want to learn kickboxing? I've always wanted to win a fight hands down!

"I can hear the sea boiling."

"I like to keep things simple."

Motivation to Keep Fit.

Pollyanna, the Hamster

'Hey look I got a free newspaper with my wallchart of north sea molluscs aand DVD of elbow stretching excercises.'

'This training session is all about challenging assumptions. For example you see someone looking depressed, dishevelled, unkempt it's easy to jump to conclusions. But they may not be a social worker, they may be a client!'

'If you plan to run a half-marathon you won't want a stopwatch, you'll need a calendar!'

Mike had learnt by heart the whole training manual, apart from the most important bit.

The tortoise and the hare are in a shoe store trying on shoes in preparation for their race.

'Figuring out what a day equals is hard. I think I'll work on something easier ... '

'Id like to see you in two weeks. Try not to eat during that time.'