Tournament Buff Gifts

Captive Audience.

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

Ratminton

"I told him he should have trained more."

Maybe we should stop calling it 'The Masters.'

The Predictable Demise of Sir Textalot.

Bessy had won the 100m sprint... but many suspected Steeroid abuse!

Cheerleaders

A woman watches football on her computer.

"Very few people are aware that the 'New York Times' Sunday crossword puzzle is contagious."

Gym. Instructor. Why do you want to learn kickboxing? I've always wanted to win a fight hands down!

Two gamers play in a game arcade near a machine titled; 'Get a life'.

Looky... It's Bat'minton... I'll see myself out."

"And for only $19.99 I can give you my super bowl pick."

Competitive tic-tac-toe

'This training session is all about challenging assumptions. For example you see someone looking depressed, dishevelled, unkempt it's easy to jump to conclusions. But they may not be a social worker, they may be a client!'

Mike had learnt by heart the whole training manual, apart from the most important bit.

'The wife says if I don't give up snooker, she's leaving me. . .I'm going to miss her.'

"They have special forces, but we have policy reports!"

'Uruguayan? - No, he's from Scotland.'

The International Airline Basketball Tournament

"I carefully examine the data for March madness brackets and every year I lose to Anita, who picks by uniform colors."

'Young players have a tendency to forget fundamentals over the winter.'

An incident from the Eglinton Tournament, scene 2.

Don't play with your food!

Today's seminar is going to be so much fun...

'You have your Boxing Day dip and I'II have mine...'

'NASA, Asteroid Watch Dept'

"Nah...not really...he's only won one game!" (Clever dog).

'This summer, how does obedience camp sound?'

"I have bad knees."

The Joust

"Your Honor, all this pretrial publicity has made my client look fat."