Tournament Fanatic Gifts

'Slide, Kaupotski, slide!'

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

Go team!

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

'I'm not quitting! Who knows if i'll ever get another chance to break a hundred!'

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

Ball as water-melon.

Cricket Accidents.

'What are we, wimps? Are we gonna let a bunch of rabbits push us all over the field? Come on, big guys.'

"This ump is so good he doesn't even blink."

'We're looking for athletic people.'

Hockey Season.

Bases loaded, no outs. And coach once again turns to his trusty golden reliever.

"And what do you do to maintain your cardiovascular fitness, Miss Holt?"

'Let's give it five more minutes. If they haven't eased up on the lasers by then, we'll have to postpone the game.'

'Well, dad, as a medical student I've got to read specialized literature!'

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

'...I don't like your chances!'

Ascent of man from ape to beer swilling football lout.

"Now that you've won the Super Bowl what will you do next?"

'You do realize you're no longer a pro athlete and there is no preseason to work out the kinks, don't you?'