Tournament Aficionado Gifts

"Nothing's sacred anymore. Now they're allowing girls in the bassmaster classic!"

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"I don't know why you always have to choose the same hide-and-go-seek hiding spot that I do, Tommy!"

"Portrait of a Lady"

Golfing Boss

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

It is best dealt with by the 'Pitch and Run Shot'.

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

Pete Sampras

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

Mini tennis players playing on table tennis court.

'He always tees off like that. He used to throw the discus in college.'

Earthlings, show us your sporting interests. This is golf. Hit the ball with the club. This is tennis. Hit that ball with the racket. This is volleyball. Hit that ball with your hand. Hitting, hitting, hitting. It's all so violent. How do you relax? We hit the hot tub.

Camping-Pong

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

"Yes, sir, Dave. Out here, under the big sky, I always get back in touch with who I am."

"This ump is so good he doesn't even blink."

Mohamed Salah

Executive golf with Newton's cradle

'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

"It's a jungle out there... and I hear you're an expert."

The Predictable Demise of Sir Textalot.

Why moms make bad refs.

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

Cheerleaders

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

'He's missed six goals today. I bet he could kick himself.'

The Harper Plays Cricket.

Antler Buzzers.

'When I was a kid, we had to do our own instant replays.'

Cristiano Ronaldo