Oldies But Goodies Fan Gifts

'Show me the way to go home, I'm tired and I want to go to bed...'

"Well, that's the only song we know, so we can play it another two or three times, or we can cut our losses. Waddya say, Cleveland?"

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

"I don't know what else we can do. He won't look up from the screen!"

"Why didn't you simply open the window?"

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

Teddy Time Bears

The Gladiator.

"Trust me. This is going to make it easier to discuss your childhood."

The Litany Of Fun

Girl to girl: 'A friend is someone you don't have to call dibs with.'

King Kong

"Yes, we still love print, don't we?"

Peter Lorre caricature

'I was 'Sweatin' To The Oldies', and I flipped over on my back!'

'I was a substitute teacher. Former students still approach me to thank me for everything I let them get away with.'

"Hi, we're Intensive Care Bears."

I told you Norman Bates and Oedipus would have a lot to talk about.

"And can one illuminate the manuscript?"

'Used to be 'Rock around the Clock', now is it 'Limp Around the Block'?'

"Tia Carmen, I have a great knock-knock joke!"

'It was your imagination. There's no little kid under your bed!'

'It's like listening to the 1950s. You can hear the dentures whistling.'

Old man imagines his younger self dancing with a cane.

Oldies Band.

"If I had three wishes, my last wish would be to only have two wishes."

"He refuses to watch the NEWs - living as he does, in the past."

'Beat it! I've got a computer!'

'Funny, it usually works OK after you've given it a hefty kick.'

'Sure, it's fun to watch, but Sesame Street is just a trick to get you softened up for school!'

Buddy Holly

Gang

'Why am I always the piggy who crys, 'we-we-we' all the way home?'

The Great Teddy Bear

'A vest is summat yer mum makes you wear when she's cold!'