Golden Oldies Fan Gifts

Old man imagines his younger self dancing with a cane.

Herman Mankiewicz

"Well, that's the only song we know, so we can play it another two or three times, or we can cut our losses. Waddya say, Cleveland?"

The Cowboy Way; Doing the Right Thing

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

'No need to yell son, I may be deaf, but I can still read.'

'Somewhere along the way, I went from lambada to lumbago.'

"Whatcha watching, Dad?"

"I'm just gonna reach in my back pocket real slow-like and turn off my ringer."

'I was 'Sweatin' To The Oldies', and I flipped over on my back!'

"California has always been too big for its britches."

'Used to be 'Rock around the Clock', now is it 'Limp Around the Block'?'

Mick Jagger at 95.

'Really? I was an extra in several John Wayne movies too...'

Charlie Chaplin

Kim Novak caricature

"Let's shake them up and do our version of 'Blowin' in the Wind'."

"He refuses to watch the NEWs - living as he does, in the past."

"Nope, Jeb's my pardner. My partner is Zeke."

'Beat it! I've got a computer!'

Early American Think Tank.

Oldies Band.

Joan Crawford junior

Looking back, I should have said yes when Sophia Loren asked me to elope. Eventually, even hindsight isn't 20/20.

Another Programme Reminding You How Much Better Music Used To Be.

Tarzan hate C.G.I.

"I can see by the sudden appearance of little dishes of hard candy in every room, Veronica, that we have finally entered our golden years."

Errol Flynn.

Noah's AARP.

'I throw a strike every time with this ball, but I can only lift it once a night.'

"I gotta stop, Ralph. . . one of my balls fell off!"

'Show me the way to go home, I'm tired and I want to go to bed...'

"He's been upset since they colorized 'It's a Wonderful Life,' and I think it's finally pushed Him over the edge!"

You're listening to K-OLD the golden oldies station. Back in a few … Oldies? You listen to oldies? Of course. Sinatra! Neil Diamond! Metallica. Vanilla Ice. The world is dead to me. Neil who?

"Like Bob Dylan said, 'You don't know what you've got til it's gone."