Golden Oldies Gang Gifts

"I'm liver spot spice."

"Well, that's the only song we know, so we can play it another two or three times, or we can cut our losses. Waddya say, Cleveland?"

"Everybody meets online these days."

'No need to yell son, I may be deaf, but I can still read.'

'Somewhere along the way, I went from lambada to lumbago.'

'I was 'Sweatin' To The Oldies', and I flipped over on my back!'

Old songs made new

Mick Jagger at 95.

Born to rock.

Old man imagines his younger self dancing with a cane.

"I'm trying to determine if the aches and pains are from an injury or just my new normal."

"Let's shake them up and do our version of 'Blowin' in the Wind'."

Oldies Band.

"I can see by the sudden appearance of little dishes of hard candy in every room, Veronica, that we have finally entered our golden years."

"Some are born old."

"Sorry, I double-booked. This wouldn't happen if I had a computer - but they insist we do everything by hand."

Another Programme Reminding You How Much Better Music Used To Be.

Workers constructing barcodes

Church in the year 2035.

"I gotta stop, Ralph. . . one of my balls fell off!"

Noah's AARP.

'I throw a strike every time with this ball, but I can only lift it once a night.'

Excess Baggage: Before you laugh at those senior citizen travel groups, just try and keep up with them.

"Can Eddie come out and throw his goddam back out?"

'It's oldie rock 'n' roll but I like it.'

Technophobes Illustrated Dictionary - Digitally Mixed - Any drink stirred without the use of a spoon, swizzle stick or any other tool/utensil.

'Remember when they were babies and that was all padding?'

You're listening to K-OLD the golden oldies station. Back in a few … Oldies? You listen to oldies? Of course. Sinatra! Neil Diamond! Metallica. Vanilla Ice. The world is dead to me. Neil who?

'This is so old-school.'

"Like Bob Dylan said, 'You don't know what you've got til it's gone."

'Me and your Grandad have been married for sixty years. But he still whispers sweet nothings into my hearing aid.'

"I was into revolutions. That's one of my 45s and here's a 33 and a 1/3."

"You can keep your fancy cell phone. As for me, I'll avoid all that extra effort and do things the old-fashioned way."

16+60/66 Magazine

"I bought something off the Internet, but I can't find it in my computer. Online shopping is overrated."