Golden Oldies Lover Gifts

You're listening to K-OLD the golden oldies station. Back in a few … Oldies? You listen to oldies? Of course. Sinatra! Neil Diamond! Metallica. Vanilla Ice. The world is dead to me. Neil who?

Mick Jagger at 95.

"Well, that's the only song we know, so we can play it another two or three times, or we can cut our losses. Waddya say, Cleveland?"

'No need to yell son, I may be deaf, but I can still read.'

"Everybody meets online these days."

'Somewhere along the way, I went from lambada to lumbago.'

"I need a hip replacement but I believe they're looking at a dog replacement."

"'CPD'...stuff and nonsense, the old ways are fine for me, now pass me a hammer. I need to put this patient out!"

'I was 'Sweatin' To The Oldies', and I flipped over on my back!'

DVD Video Rental. I rented "Shampoo" and "Private Benjamin". Neat .. A couple of olden Goldies.

The Lone Ranger receives a disconcerting smoke signal from Tonto....

Ingrid Bergman

Old man imagines his younger self dancing with a cane.

Oldies Band.

'Psst! It's the invisible man. Try not to state at his new hair piece.'

"Let's shake them up and do our version of 'Blowin' in the Wind'."

"I can see by the sudden appearance of little dishes of hard candy in every room, Veronica, that we have finally entered our golden years."

Another Programme Reminding You How Much Better Music Used To Be.

"Agnes is so crushing on him."

Laurel & Hardy

'Dat was jus' a warnin', Detective Jones. Get off da Bozo case!'

'I throw a strike every time with this ball, but I can only lift it once a night.'

"I gotta stop, Ralph. . . one of my balls fell off!"

Noah's AARP.

Excess Baggage: Before you laugh at those senior citizen travel groups, just try and keep up with them.

Film Noir

World's oldest activist: 'YANKEE GO HOME, since 1919'

"Frank likes the Happy News show on the Nostalgia Channel. It plays fake news reels of the Good Old Days."

"Like Bob Dylan said, 'You don't know what you've got til it's gone."

'Me and your Grandad have been married for sixty years. But he still whispers sweet nothings into my hearing aid.'

"I was into revolutions. That's one of my 45s and here's a 33 and a 1/3."

"I'm liver spot spice."

16+60/66 Magazine

Golden Oldies Radio - Knock Three Times On The Ceiling If You want Me

"Sure, this used to be a one horse town, but not anymore...the horse died!"