Golden Oldies Enthusiasts Gifts

Golden Oldies Radio - Knock Three Times On The Ceiling If You want Me

"Well, that's the only song we know, so we can play it another two or three times, or we can cut our losses. Waddya say, Cleveland?"

Diego Velasquez

'No need to yell son, I may be deaf, but I can still read.'

'Somewhere along the way, I went from lambada to lumbago.'

'I was 'Sweatin' To The Oldies', and I flipped over on my back!'

"I'm so old I can't remember who's the smart one and who's the pretty one."

'Used to be 'Rock around the Clock', now is it 'Limp Around the Block'?'

Mick Jagger at 95.

'It's like listening to the 1950s. You can hear the dentures whistling.'

Old man imagines his younger self dancing with a cane.

Life begins at 60

"Why is there a picture of an old man in the bathroom?"

Oldies Band.

"Let's shake them up and do our version of 'Blowin' in the Wind'."

Information Superhighway to Rio...Starring Bob Hope, Bing Crosby, Dorothy LaMour.

"I can see by the sudden appearance of little dishes of hard candy in every room, Veronica, that we have finally entered our golden years."

'Mom calls this a diary where you write private thoughts no one else can see. What fun is that?'

Workers constructing barcodes

"Sorry, I double-booked. This wouldn't happen if I had a computer - but they insist we do everything by hand."

Another Programme Reminding You How Much Better Music Used To Be.

Church in the year 2035.

'The sixties? Well, you don't sleep as well, can't read anything closer than three feet away and your short-term memory's shot.'

'I throw a strike every time with this ball, but I can only lift it once a night.'

Excess Baggage: Before you laugh at those senior citizen travel groups, just try and keep up with them.

"I gotta stop, Ralph. . . one of my balls fell off!"

Noah's AARP.

'In my day, it weren't just cold - it were bleak an' all.'

You're listening to K-OLD the golden oldies station. Back in a few … Oldies? You listen to oldies? Of course. Sinatra! Neil Diamond! Metallica. Vanilla Ice. The world is dead to me. Neil who?

"Like Bob Dylan said, 'You don't know what you've got til it's gone."

Technophobes Illustrated Dictionary - Digitally Mixed - Any drink stirred without the use of a spoon, swizzle stick or any other tool/utensil.

'This is so old-school.'

'Me and your Grandad have been married for sixty years. But he still whispers sweet nothings into my hearing aid.'

"Yes, it's a golden age-or would be, if we weren't all swarming with lice."

"I was into revolutions. That's one of my 45s and here's a 33 and a 1/3."